Individual differences |
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Snags are the forces that hold us back from positive change in our lives. These snags come from various aspects of our lives.
Early family conditioning.
- Sometimes this comes from how our families thought about us when we were young.For example "she was always the good child" is a message that may hold us back from doing something defined in the family as 'bad', say getting divorced.
- Sometimes the people close to us do not want us to change and work to convince us to stay stuck. This may be through explicit messages:
"There is no need to overcome your agrophobia as you can always rely on me." (said perhaps instead of: please dont become more independent as I am afraid of losing you)
- or implicitly as when the husband becomes ill and depressed as the wife improves, so keeping the dependency contract in the relationship functioning.