Self control

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Self control is the exertion of one's own will on their personal self - their behaviors, actions, emotions, thought processes. Gaining control over these aspects of ourselves is a key developmental task.

Main article: Developmental psychology: Development of self control

Much of this comes from the perception of self and the ability to set up boundaries for that self.

Develop Self Control

http://www.coping.org/control/selfcont.htm

Solving Self-Control Problems

Self-control problems exist when a person wants to behave in a certain adaptive way, but does not do so or at least not regularly. For instance, a person might want to floss his teeth daily or get regular exercise, but doesn’t. Or a person might want to stop smoking or drinking, but doesn’t. The core problem of self-control is that short-term consequences (e.g., going through withdrawal) out-compete long-term consequences (such as becoming ill and dying).

Self-control methods help individuals work toward difficult long-term goals. These methods include (a) setting a measurable goal,(b) setting measurable subgoals (e.g., daily goals),(c) daily self-monitoring of the behavior of interest, (d) creating a list of pros and cons of making a change, (e) identifying and preparing for possible obstacles, (f) asking others for encouragement and reinforcement, (g) joining another person in pursuing the goal, (h) setting up relevant environments to prompt the desired behaviour (e.g., posting reminder notes), (i) setting self-rewards for achieving short-term goals, (j) gradually weaning yourself from the program, and (k) scheduling follow-up checks to help maintain improvement over time, and (l) re-instituting self-control methods as needed..

For instance, if you wanted to stop using a specific foul word, you might (a) set a long-term goal of not saying the word again, (b) set a daily goal of not using the word, (c) keep a record in your appointment book of your number of uses of the word, (d) make a list of pros and cons of making this change, (e) identify and prepare for obstacles (e.g., practice using a similar but more desirable word -- “shucks” -- so that word is readily available to you in frustrating circumstances), (f) ask friends and family members to remind you of your goal and praise you when you achieve it for a day, (g) persuade a friend or family member to make a similar change with you, (h) post reminders of your goal and avoid stressful situations, (i) give yourself a delicious, nutritious treat as a reward to meeting your daily goal, (j) gradually eliminate elements of the program, (k) put in your appointment book six months from the end of the program instructions to review to what extent you have used the word lately, and (l) reapply self-control methods if you slip back to using the word.

For a more comprehensive treatment of self-control methods, see Martin and Pear (2006 or prior editions) and Thoresen and Mahoney (1974). Problem solving methods can play a role in self-control. For descriptions of problem solving methods, see [Malouff (2006)][1], [Harris (2002)][2] and Problem_solving.

References & Bibliography

Key texts

Books

Bandura, A (1997). Self-efficacy: The Exercise of Control. W.H.Freeman & Co Ltd ISBN 0716728508
Benevento, J A (2004).A Self-regulated Learning Approach For Children With Learning/Behavioral Disorders. Charles C Thomas Pub Ltd.ISBN 0398075360